If you're a human being on Earth you most likely have "those" friends; you know - the teachers. They're the people who are always telling you stories about the kids in their classes when you didn't even ask, or proclaiming that their summer break isn't really a break at all (yeah, right). Maybe you've experienced the nightmare of a teacher friend bringing another (or multiple other) teacher friends to a non-teacher-related function, and all they do is talk about teaching. Just in case you ever forget that your friend is a teacher set a reminder for yourself to check his social media pages for his millions of teacher-inspired memes and statuses about a hilarious thing a kid said at school. These are the things that barely touch the surface of the deep abyss of annoying things that my teacher friends do.
Such as: 1. They constantly complain about how tired they are. Honestly, why are they always so tired? Everyone in the history of forever has had to get up for work after spending the night with their sick children, intoxicated friends who set their microwaves on fire, night classes for Norwegian hot yogalates instructing, etc. I've watched your waste-of-my-time teacher videos online, Matthew, and you're way too peppy teaching those kindergartners the Chinese alphabet so go somewhere else with your yawning. (Also, when did you learn Chinese?) It's so annoying that my teacher friends drink caffeine-free herbal tea because it's "not a diuretic." Why do they know these things? That's probably why they're so tired because evidently they haven't heard of espresso. I've heard this myth, and I know it's a myth because it sounds ridiculous, that teachers can't use the bathroom whenever they feel like it. First of all reasons that I doubt this is true is that it sounds like a major health concern so it has to be a lie that all teachers contrive. Secondly, they have at least two, 30-minute, free periods per day which is way more free time than any other working person gets to enjoy, so why are they organizing student fundraisers, making "student-centered" bullying awareness posters, and hosting parent advocacy meetings instead of going to the bathroom? Do they seriously expect us to believe that they really care that much more about family involvement and helping kids raise money for THEIR homecoming dance than making time for their own bladders? Which brings me to my next topic. 2. They are horrible with time management. Thanks for showing up to my celebratory break-up dinner an hour late, Sandra. You barely know James, who I've heard about 100,000 times, but you really needed to stay after school to help him finish his college applications, didn't you? It's not your problem that he works the nightshift at Getty so I don't know why you're paying $65 of your own money to overnight his transcripts. Raise your hand if you've had to endure the infamous thirty-five minute, teacher-friend phone call that goes something like, "I thought I would only be at her house for 10 minutes, but by the time the cops showed up at [random kid name]'s aunt's house I needed to make sure there was a chance we could find her. I'm so sorry I missed your cat's birthday." It was his 2nd birthday and he only gets one of them. They don't get it though because teachers don't even have time for pets, apparently. Do you know how many times I've been asked to walk my teacher friend's dog? Teachers are the only people I know that do not understand how to use a clock yet they're responsible for teaching this to people. If they're done work at 3pm, why am I walking their dogs for them at 7:30pm? Why do they care so much about marching band practice? 3. They're perfectionists to a fault. They are constantly referring to themselves as "Type A." It is as if they think they are the only people in the world who like things to be organized. I organize my Kraft mac and cheese boxes regularly- shapes on the left side of the cabinet, shells on the right -and you don't hear me bragging about it, Monique (mostly because I don't believe in labels). We get it, your boss is hard on you and you want "to be the best for the kids;" we all get to share your misery during your crying fits every day. Everyone else's boss is hard on them but you don't see everyone else sobbing. Teachers act like something awful is going to happen to them if everything they do isn't perfect. Really, what is the worst thing that's going to happen if the superintendent demands the principal to demand the teachers to regularly meet deadlines and data tracking and quarterly test score requirements, and parent communication and a certain monthly evaluation score based on 16 criteria, and 20 different daily lesson plans that align to 60 different standards? That's too much to do in one day so I doubt anyone ACTUALLY gets on them about all that stuff, and isn't their priority supposed to be drawing stuff and playing Uno with those kids anyway? 4. They complain about certification requirements. I had teachers who could barely remember my name (there were only 1,000 kids in my graduating class, it really wasn't that difficult) so I cannot imagine that becoming a teacher is as tough as they make it seem. It's not like they're doctors or saving people's lives. Speaking of doctors, I really don't know why you got that degree in Organic Biochemistry to become just a teacher, Jada. You also missed two Icelandic EDM cruises while you were studying for those middle school science tests. You really must have learned a lot in college if it took you a year to study for a middle school exam. Teachers act like passing a certification exam is hard. I had to spend a whole day learning CPR just to pass that test and I am ACTUALLY certified to save someone's life. Also, they claim that they have to do an unreal amount of professional development hours, and in their first years of teaching they have to take classes at night. Um, why would we believe you? You literally just got a teaching degree so that makes no sense. According to everybody's Facebook wall everywhere, teachers are also complaining that they have to get Masters degrees just to keep their certifications. Seriously?! My elementary art teacher had a Masters degree? She could barely afford her 1992 Honda Civic. If she wasn't so tired or bad at time management she could have picked up a better night job. 5. Their lives revolve around teaching. Somehow, someway, everything that they do relates back to a thing that happened that time in school; or worse, a kid they had in their class that one year. You accidentally throw a plate at a squirrel who's eating your Doritos out of your makeup bag on your bedroom floor ONE time and you're suddenly just like Joelle from 2006. How do they even remember these people? It's as if they truly believe their students are their own children. We're sorry to tell you, teachers, but those kids do not share your blood or DNA. They're just people you meet and teach some information. Take it from a former student, okay? I barely remember when my first grade teacher held my hand during the morning American flag pledge every single day for 180 days so I wouldn't cry that my mom left. I also barely remember my sixth grade teacher catching me doing the same thing every morning when I was not transitioning well to middle school and then having regular, discreet meetings with me about growing up and life changes. Even more forgettable was when all of my teachers went to the school board to ask that they be allowed to be my nighttime home school teachers after I got hit by a drunk driver during my senior year of high school, and the check-in calls that they made to me during their lunches every single day. If my lack of memories isn't the hint you need, teacher friends, then I don't know what will help you regain control of the lives you had before this job. And last, but certainly not least, this is by far the most annoying thing that they do... 6. They don't give themselves the credit they deserve for what they're doing. The work they do every day is thankless. I see and hear people disrespect the field of education on a regular basis. Teachers are blamed when things go wrong, whether it's a poor lesson in the classroom or deterring from an emergency procedure to get children to safety during an evacuation, and they're rarely thanked for individual accomplishments like coaching a student to a chess championship or getting a student to leave a violent gang. I once caught a teacher friend arriving to school almost two hours early to reorganize 64 students' IEPs so that the school board looks more fondly upon the school. I've witnessed an elementary teacher friend successfully teach a thoroughly planned writing workshop-style lesson on syntax and opinion writing, spend his prep period working with a coworker on improving her reading instruction and aligning her book plans with the Common Core, break up two fights in the hallway, participate in a walking meeting with the guidance counselor about DHS updates for a student who is homeless, and contact three parents about an upcoming field trip for which they did not sign a permission slip - and all of this happened within the first hour and a half of the school day. Teachers get defensive when they're told by non-teachers that they have summers "off" because those within the field know that summers are spent planning for the next year's unknown, attending extra workshops out-of-state and away from friends and family, playing ice-breaker games at professional development seminars, and attempting to disconnect their emotions from the students with whom they departed. I was not unlike the people who judge and demean the profession of teaching as I never fully understood the depth of care that my educators felt for my intellectual and social development. I still find it difficult to imagine my own teachers sharing stories about my character with their families during dinner, or crying over concerns about my future with their partners as they lie in bed at night. What I do know, now, is that every educator had to put forth a vigorous, concerted effort to gain entrance into this under-appreciated career. For that, I am eternally grateful. <3 Piotrowicz
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"Partner teachers who walk up twelve flights of stairs together, stay together." That's how the saying goes, right? Well, that's how we heard it this week as we have been forced to walk up many stairs, after walking 48 blocks in the most hot and humid summer weather.
We're both active and athletic people who value fitness and health so it was easy for us to motivate each other to continue to walk up the stairs even after the elevator was fixed in our hotel. We're heading out for our run now, stay tuned for more partnering! It's only Wednesday but we've already learned a lot about writing. We've battled conflicting emotions and views about the value of workshops, been inspired by world renowned educators and authors alike, and completed the intense work of both student and teacher. Lucy Calkins' Reading and Writing Workshop programs are committed to giving students voices in their literacy education and we are looking forward to better implementing them in our classrooms.
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AuthorBlog posts are written by Jaimie Piotrowicz and Chelsea Fay ArchivesCategories |